Friday, June 24, 2011

I Know, I Know

I know it’s been a sweet forever since I’ve posted anything.  Sorry, about that but life has been moving at a breakneck speed for the past few months.  There’s been a ton of travel for work to New Mexico, Colorado, Nevada, and Washington.  Not to mention tons of stress in the Houston office.  As well as a fitness-crisis and relationship-fixing.


I’ve been struggling with balancing living out faith/home and work, with a strong desire to be more focused on home and faith.  I’ve come to a conclusion – God wants me living out my faith more at work.  I’ve been fighting the desire to be home and made myself miserable in my work life.  Well that does not equate to a very good attitude or representation of Christ at work.  I’m not saying I just flipped a switch one day and became this awesome Christian living out her faith boldly in the workplace, but I am saying that I make an effort every day.  Some days I fail miserably, some days I have small victories.  But because I’ve made myself so miserable I have not felt inclined to blog.  


I’ve also been struggling with terrible body image issues.  I’ve gain about 35 pounds since D and I married 3 years ago and it’s catching up with me.  I have never struggled with my weight until now and it’s a totally new experience for me.  It’s tough – it’s hard work – it’s embarrassing.  But one day a few weeks ago I hit my wall, so to speak.  I decided to stop wallowing in self-pity, making excuses as to why I cannot get healthy ( I don’t have time, it’s too expensive, etc., etc., etc.).  I’m on a healthy eating plan and regular work out schedule.  Again, I know I won’t be perfect at this and there will be days I will be discouraged, but I will push through with God’s help.  I’m not looking to become a supermodel or cause those reading to develop their own body issues.  I just realized that I cannot do much for God if I let myself become unhealthy.  I’d hate to stand before Him one day and say, “Sorry I allowed myself to become so out of shape that I was unable to obey You.”  No ma’am, not gonna let that happen.  So that’s been taking up a lot of my time as well.


Then, since D and I moved to Houston, our together time has been drastically reduced.  In Shreveport, we ate lunch together almost every day, had at least 3 hours with each other at the end of the day, and had a devotion almost every night.  In Houston, we never eat lunch together, get about one good hour together after work, I travel a ton, and I’m so exhausted at the end of the night that we don’t do our devotion.  We decided to change that.  So, again, not much time for blogging.


And then, we are trying to have a baby.  Well, you all know, that takes time folks. 


I will continue to blog because I want to look back and see the work God has done in my life.  And, also to look back on our memories.  And once babies come along, I’ll be blogging a ton. 


So, sorry for the inconsistency, but thanks for stopping by occasionally.  I promise, there will be new posts – just not every day and maybe not every week.